I Want To Be A Dragon When I Grow Up.

A Trio of Dragons, by Kaci McCall 2020
(during a face paint workshop by dragonista Frida Haas)

I'm not alone.

One time when I was a little kid, I was in a weekend morning Art Class with a friend at a neighborhood place in a strip mall called Art 101 in Livonia, Michigan. Actually it's in Livonia now, near my home. But as a kid it was a different location, there's a shadow of a visual memory of it in the strip mall. I must have been around Kindergarten or First Grade but it's but just a shimmering whispy thing of a memory. I couldn't tell you who the 'teachers' were or what they looked like or their names, I think maybe they were pretty young. But we would choose whatever drawing topic or picture from something to try to copy on large official brown spiral drawing paper pads, very official. The teachers would come around and help out if we struggled with finding initial shapes to sketch or figuring out proportion, shading, layering color pencils on top of markers, and other techniques that certainly were helpful on my journey as an artist (who still has some inner cringe having the audacity to call myself that). I'm grateful to have had a beautiful creative artist, always singing, writing, painting, carving, studying, making magical things and sharing cool toys, museum collector, tinkering woodcarver, type of man as a Dad who always encouraged creativity and artistic endeavors, of course my Mom too!!! A whole other kind of magic with her, although don't let her fool you, her writing is pretty hilarious and she can doodle a mean little bunny or daisy with the best of them.

So back to the story I came to tell...I was sitting here this Saturday snowy morning pondering life and the insanity of this world we live in, the weight I feel threaten to crush me if I let my heart feel all of the things that tug at my mind from the grasping tendrils of the internet begging for my attention and awareness...the life of a learner and a truth seeker... a professional rabbit hole tumbler. Is there a degree I can earn? A trophy at least for how sane I still am or am capable of appearing to be?? Is my human suit even on straight??

Anyway, I came here to tell you a story. So somehow in my ponderings of things I might do to move this energy of Jan 2025 I was scrolling through some Oracle Decks for sale, descriptions and reviews...and particularily drawn to an Earth centered one, where they talked about 'spirit guides' and guardians, and how they sometimes are with us as a child, or come in at different stages of life for various reasons. And I instantly of course remembered, something I have never forgotten, the LION who was my 'imaginary friend' around Kindergarten era for sure. I actually had a little friend from around the block, Dawn, and she just so happened to also have an invisible Lion companion. It was perfect. I can't remember if he had a name. I do distinctly remember us placing them in bathroom stalls in our Elementary School Bathrooms, the ones near the gym... and telling them to stay put. I smiled thinking of how maybe there was a certain thing I felt I needed protecting from, a strong yet gentle bodyguard. I also fondly remembered that DRAGONS were always close to my heart, and that a dragon companion was always a favorite fantasy. 'Pete's Dragon' was my favorite movie. And just as quickly I knew it was totally okay if now as a 45 year old woman, if those same companions came and showed back up and curled up by my side to remind me of who I Am and how far I have come from that little girl. That girl who pissed herself once in that same elementary school hallway when the principal yelled at a group of us for running down the hallway to the lunchroom. Ah, fear.... trouble? disapproval? wrong? bad? am I dumb? not being liked, not being good enough, being bad, any of these things were soul crushing. I also had a sibling who for whatever reason sort of loved or at least enjoyed making me feel any or all on what seems must have been a regular basis. I don't know if I should share that part, part of me learned to just internalize and try harder and not rock boats, and it's crazy how often those parts grab the wheel of my mind machine before I even know we are moving.

It's cool though you know. I'm me. I've learned to love and respect and be infinitely grateful for that. Even when self doubt rears it's ugly head, I've really come a long way in recognizing the different voices and fears for what they are. And this is really not what this post was going to be about at all, but here we are in a place for my mind to map itself, I don't mind if we take some winding paths, and I guess, well you wouldn't still be reading or even hear in the first place if you didn't mind the scenic route too.

So, this one childhood morning, at the strip mall art class, I am sitting and getting settled in to begin or maybe already busy sketching away when I overheard an older 'teen' girl in the classroom casually mention to her friend, or maybe to a teacher:

"I want to be a dragon when I grow up."

So casually. It caused me to take pause. It stuck with me always to this day.

It felt like the truest, simplest thing, but like she was so brave for just owning the ridiculous truth of it all and just speaking it into existence.

I thought to myself, that's glorious. Maybe I thought 'cool' or 'rad' or something actually it was the 80s.... but I thought I am stealing this. It was a #GOALS moment before hashtags existed. Yes. You just know truth when you hear it. And she was right. I made a point to remember, and to utilize that life mission declaration a time or two in my life.

As a little bright eyed kid in those days, I had no idea how fricking FAKE and ridiculous this shitshow of a world actually was or would become in the next decades of my life, however I knew that I was living in a reality where the 'world' was telling us Fairies and Dragons were FAKE and SHAME on you if you talk to them, and DARE you RUN with childhood glee and joy I will knock that damn smile off your face with the booming of my voice just for the thrill of seeing the light get a little dimmer in that sparkle.

And I heard someone speak a simple truth and I agreed.

Yes, cool teen of the 80s... I TOO want to be a dragon when I grow up. A Dead rapper spirit guide also helps remind me of these things. Remember LOVE if you can't remember me...

I still belive in dragons...

I'm so glad the universe crossed our paths, though I don't know who you are. I hope somewhere today in your 50s or so, some cool dragon statue or toy comes into your life and reminds you of when you were a kid and how you've always known the magic of this life, and I hope if you ever let them take it away or shame it out of you, that the eternal spark springs back to life and you breathe fire on whatever obstacles have held you back from being your most glorious badass magical dragon goddess self.

And there we have it. A scenic journey through the jungles of my mind, where in the end, we emerge victorious, a sisterhood and brotherhood of lion flanked, fairy fortressed, dragon riding warriors, that have just been stewing and brewing in the ups and downs of this life, patiently training in our human suits and awaiting the day that together we would all wake up and remember, we came here to change the world, to create a beautiful new one, not to fit into the false mold they have been forcing upon us all for far too long.

So I guess all of that to tell you this, or remind you rather...dragons are much more real than the false matrix imprisonment that this 3D world and succubus societal structure based of colonialist patriarchal capitalist pyramid scheme and spiritual succubus of a societal structure they have you dreaming into reality, the nightmare of illusion you've been buying into. Let's not do that one anymore.

Godspeed my magical friends.

I love you, and thank you for reading!

Scroll and click below if you are in need of a dragon power anthem for your playlist. <3